17 Reasons Not To Visit Valencia Spain.

It has lately become a “thing” to find an article extolling the wonders of Valencia as a city to live in on a weekly basis it seems. The spotlight is firmly being shined on this city, and people have been moving here in droves. This is my tongue firmly in cheek response to all the hoopla about this lovely city.

Having come to realize that resistance is futile and any attempt to keep Valencia a hidden secret is in vain. That train has long left. l am, however going to give you at least 17 reasons not to visit Valencia because it would be a horrible idea in my humble opinion. If you choose to visit Valencia, you do it at your own risk, as l would have done my best to dissuade you!

Summer being on its way, it’s more than likely that you are thinking of where to go for some sun and fun, especially in Spain. You can go to the cities that get all the mentions and love, after all, there is nothing wrong with going to places that you already know and love. We all do it.

17 reasons not to visit Valencia Spain: Plus 4 bonus reasons!

Spain is littered with wonderful beach destinations. Ibiza, Majorca, and Marbella are just a few places to consider. You don’t even have to speak a word of Spanish to boot. Doesn’t that sound just lovely? Still not convinced? Here are the reasons not to visit Valencia then, in no particular order.

1. Valencia is the ugly stepsister to Barcelona, Madrid, Seville, etc.

Yes, the city is ugly as sin and dull as dishwater. You don’t need to visit this “supposed” beauty. You will only be disappointed. Eyesores everywhere.

2. The locals in Valencia are pretty gnarly looking. 

3. There is absolutely nothing to see in Valencia.

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4. There is no Religion in Valencia. Heathens everywhere.

5. The beach is absolutely horrifying, a disgraceful mess.

6. Architecture in Valencia is simply hideous.

7. No major cultural events whatsoever happen in Valencia.

The yearly marathon, over 16,000 runners in 2021 as opposed to the usual 30,000 thanks to the pandemic.

8. The city of Valencia is absolutely stifling, with no green space!

Find awesome things to do in Valencia.

9. Nothing happens at night. Everyone is asleep by 10 pm.

10. Valencia is not a hip city at all.

11. They have no idea how to enjoy life, a good reason not to visit Valencia.

12. The Valencia CF football team is the worst in Spain. Absolute rubbish!

The Valencia CF have won six La Liga titles, eight Copa del Rey titles, one Supercopa de España, and one Copa Eva Duarte. Underachievers!

13. There is no diversity in Valencia.

Seek, and ye shall find pretty much whatever you’re looking for.

Food in Valencia sucks!

Food is a  great part of travel and living in any place. There are plenty of reasons not to consider living or even visiting Valencia. Off the top of my head when it comes to food:

14. No original dishes come from Valencia – nothing at all to call their own!

Paella day in Valencia. You do know that paella was invented right here in Valencia, don’t you?

 15. It’s Jamon, all day, every day. No variety to speak of.

16. Wine and beer are too expensive!

17. No fresh fruit and vegetables anywhere and it’s so expensive!

There are about four of these within a block of me, but who needs to eat well? Fresh veggies and meat are for suckers. We want the preservatives!

Bonus reasons not to visit Valencia: Thank me later!

18. Don’t even get me started on the pricey hotels😲.

Oh yeah… compared to hotel prices in Barcelona and Madrid, Valencia is super expensive. No good selection of hotels at reasonable prices.

19. The people living in Valencia are miserable.

Our suffering is great and we hope that we can spare innocent people our horrible fates. We should have listened to the naysayers.

20. Valencia is dangerous! You can’t go out at night.

We live in fear behind closed doors, I’ll have you know. We fear the creatures that come out at night. The quality of life in Valencia is horrible l tell you. Sometimes when l walk home by myself past midnight, I am terrified that a neighbor might say hello, or the teenagers making out on the bench, oblivious to the world might actually come up for air to harass me.

I am also extremely scared when l see kids heading to the nightclub (would that be a day club?) talking just as loudly at 7 am in the dark as they would at noon while l am walking the dog :-).

Dog poop everywhere you look!

Okay, I’ll give you that one too for the most part. I used to see a lot more of it before the quarantine. Some friend who was staying in Madrid for a while told me that you’re not considered a local until you have stepped into it. Thanks, but no thanks. Really though, it’s no different than other cities in Europe. I wish l knew why.

What l have noticed is that more and more people are picking up post-lockdown. My theory is everyone is kind of scared of what diseases this might bring further down the line. I have seen neighbors who turned a blind eye now carrying bags with them and actually using them.

So, it’s getting better. Don’t let that stop you though. Hold it against us, and refuse to visit.

17 reasons not to visit Valencia: Wrap-up

My advice to you is to keep on visiting Barcelona, Madrid, and Seville. Do not, under any circumstance, consider a Valencia visit as you will surely be disappointed. In fact, we, and lots of others are staying here out of defiance as you can see. We curse the day we heard of Valencia as a great place to live.

Have you been to Valencia? What do you think of these 17 reasons not to visit Valencia? Do you agree with me that it is a place that must be avoided at all costs? Or are you one of the defiant ones?

If you liked this post, please share it for the benefit of others. They must be warned :-).